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Paisley

Birth Date: August 19, 2018

Sex: Female

Coat: Longhair, Calico

Highlight: Skittish, but super cuddly once you are her friend!

Likes: Sleeping in the people bed, brushing, petting, birdwatching, laser pointer, and fish flavoured stews

Dislikes: Toys that make noise, dogs, loud noises, babies, young children and strangers

Adoption Fee: $80

My name is Paisley and I’m here to tell you the truth. I am an alien. In fact, all cats are aliens. 

 

It was never our plan to take over the world, but we might be on our way to doing just that! We were sent here as emissaries to spy and report back to the meowthership. 

 

I can tell you don’t believe me. Have you ever wondered why we just showed up in history? Specifically in Egypt where they immortalized us in statues and artwork. They had no idea where we came from, even with the meowthership so easy to see in those days. All the mystery that surrounded our appearance was nothing short of amazing, yet they welcomed us with grace and reverence. Look it up if you don’t believe me, our history in Egypt is well documented.

 

Our purr is an alien trait and confuses the most educated scientist. There's no special body part that we use to produce this sound, just our vocal cords. We have perfected the timbre, it's just the right range to lower stress and promote health and healing in both ourselves and the humans of this world. I even sleep around the head of my human, purring to give her the best dreams and help keep her healthy. I can’t have my sole provider becoming ill! Who would feed me?

 

Cats posses super hearing, night vision and can pretty much defy gravity. A cat can leap and fly gracefully through the air to a perch that should be physically out of reach. But we make it, almost every time. Unfortunately, some cats have lost touch with their alien senses and are almost as clumsy as humans. 

 

Still not a believer? Just watch your cat's behaviour closely. Do they wake up and dart at full speed out of a room for no reason? Do they cock their head and move their ears in different directions…like they are receiving a transmission? Do they stare at a wall where you see absolutely nothing? Perhaps they are in ’send information’ mode, have you ever considered that? 

 

How do you explain knowing what a litter box is without us ever having used one before or the way we can fall from great distances without getting hurt? That’s thanks to our anti-gravity properties. Have you ever glimpsed your cat’s third eyelid? Or wondered why they are obsessed with human technology such as your TV, cellphone or computer keyboard? You may have missed these signs because cats are the masters of stealth.

 

But, you smart humans can still subdue our race by pulling out a hair brush - oh, how I loved to be brushed! Or control us with a laser pointer, so absurd. Personally, I can fold up into a small cardboard box using metamorphism, but if you scratch my head, I melt under your authority. 

 

So while we are aliens and you may not understand us, I’m here to tell you we are on your side. Most cats have agreed that planet Earth is better with our two species co-existing, especially in nice, warm houses with comfy couches. We only need to be spayed and neutered to stop overwhelming the human race with our sheer numbers. I can’t promise that we won’t use mind control to get you to open that can of tuna in the cupboard, but know that we try to limit ourselves and only use it to get you to clean out our litter box when it’s too stinky. 

 

Remember, spay and neuter is the key to keeping the planet under human control, otherwise you may suffer the consequences and become the pet in your own world.